rendering grace

Sweet vacation...

2010-12-27T11:50:00.000-08:00

Today is Monday. And it's two days after Christmas. And I am sitting at home in sweat pants, drinking coffee, and NOT at work.

This year, I unintentionally saved nearly all of my paid vacation days for the end of the year. I left work at the end of the day on December 22, and I'm not going back to the office until January! Awesome! Since I have so much time off at once, there are a few things I would like to accomplish during my vacation:

-Get a new bed. Check! I have a new bed, and I love it!

-Learn how to use Lightroom for my photography workflow. See my photography website at www.stephaniegracephotography.com.

-Design a new header for my photography blog.

-Finish reading The Corrections and re-read Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.

-Plan for and organize my exciting blogging project for 2011! You'll hear more about that soon...

So far I am off to a decent start on accomplishing these vacation goals. Tomorrow, I head to Big Bear with my family for a few days in the snow, where I plan to spend a lot of time on my computer with the aforementioned Lightroom learning and blog designing.

Merry belated Christmas, and a Happy New Year to all!

'tis the season...

2010-12-07T17:00:00.000-08:00

and I have almost all of my Christmas shopping done! This is the first year I have successfully shopped ahead of time, and I'm super pleased with myself for these reasons:

1. by thinking about Christmas shopping earlier in the year, I was able to take advantage of some great deals on some great stuff.

2. by spreading out my shopping, I am not dropping an obscene amount of money all at once within a four- week time span in December.

3. by shopping online (and early) I have avoided the Holiday Mall Mayhem.

4. by planning ahead, I have nearly eliminated the stress that so often accompanies this time of year...and what's not to like about that?

the skinny debut

2010-11-12T18:47:00.000-08:00

Today I wore my freshly-washed, still-smell-like-Cheer skinny jeans. With boots and a cute Michael Kors shirt, I was pretty pleased.

Verdict: Skinny jeans + boots = Thumbs up!

the skinny

2010-11-09T12:28:00.000-08:00

This weekend I bought skinny jeans. I've been contemplating this purchase for quite some time...and on Sunday I caved. But I did only buy a $20 pair at Target. Because I am not convinced that they will still be "cool" in a year and a half...

Admittedly, the main reason I decided to finally buy the skinny jeans is because I love to wear my boots. And a girl with boots needs skinny jeans. It's a fact. They are made for each other.

Cheers to the skinny...

what I love about the ocean

2010-11-03T09:28:00.000-07:00

...is that it's seen it all before. Death and new life. Destruction and rebuilding. Endings and beginnings. It was there for catastrophe (both natural and man-made), for triumphs, for every world war and epic moment in our history. So there's something soothing about the rhythmic ebb and flow of waves on the beach, of crashing water on cliffs and rocks. To me, it always seems like the sea is saying something. Something like "Been there, done that..." or "Yeah, it's rough sometimes, but you'll get through it...." or "See? I told you so. I told you you could do it..."

In its inconceivable depth and distance is wisdom. Assurance for the things we do not know, the things that stay hidden in dark places. The ocean has seen it all, and it's still here, meeting the sun each morning and kissing the moon each night.

That's what I love about the ocean.

this weekend...

2010-10-22T09:15:00.000-07:00

camping

beaching

playing

walking

eating

bonfire-ing

breathing

Location: San Onofre State Beach

first day of autumn

2010-09-22T17:55:00.000-07:00

I love autumn. It has always been my favorite season. Although, I really can't complain too much about any of the "seasons" here in San Diego. I enjoy them all! Fall is probably the only season I miss from living in the Midwest. Cool, crisp days and nights. Lots of changing leaves. The scent of woodsmoke and bonfires in the air. It's pretty fantastic.

Now that the first day of fall is upon us, here are some fall-ish things I'm planning on indulging in very soon:

- Cinnamon-frosted Pumpkin Cookies from Von's (okay, maybe I have already indulged in these...)

- Squash. Spaghetti, acorn, butternut...all good!

- Apple Cider

- Baking. Starting with these Caramel Apple Cupcakes from the Everyday with Rachael Ray magazine.

- Holiday-scented candles

- Christmas shopping! I promised myself I was going to try really hard to shop throughout the year this year, instead of saving it all for December. To date, I have one Christmas gift. I know it's only September...but think about how fast the last nine months have gone...then think about how there are only 13 weeks until the Big Day. Yeah.

What are some of YOUR favorite things about the season?

another post on dogs

2010-09-16T21:24:00.000-07:00

Remember when I said I was going to get a dog? Yeah...still no dog... But one step closer! This weekend I'm going to go hang out with the dog I met at the Big Dogs Rock Adoption Event last month. It's the next step in the process, to spend some time together outside of an event. After that? MUST FIX BACKYARD FENCE! If only I were handy...

I want this

2010-08-17T09:02:00.000-07:00

Other People's Rejection Letters

edited by Bill Shapiro

A whole book on "NO"! No being said to other people--not yourself. People like Andy Warhol and Jimi Hendrix. And Joe Schmoe who lives next door. Because--let's face it--we all know what it's like to be rejected!

Bill Shapiro has also edited another book called Other People's Love Letters, and, yes, I want this one too.

If only I were not currently on a DO NOT BUY ANYTHING personal mandate. Alas. Both are on my Amazon Wish List for later...

Meredith Andrews Ft. Paul Baloche - How Great Is The Love

2010-08-13T08:41:00.000-07:00

Love this song by Meredith Andrews. I would highly recommend her stuff. Very meaningful lyrics, and she has a beautiful voice.

from a dog-lover

2010-08-09T10:49:00.000-07:00

That's me. I love dogs. I do. They make great companions and are ALWAYS excited to see you, whether you've been gone five minutes or five days. What's not to love?

This weekend I went with my roommate to to the 4th Annual BIG DOGS ROCK Adoption Event at Fiesta Island. And I filled out an application to adopt a dog! A big step and a big responsibility...but I have been thinking about getting a dog since moving into the house.

In my family, pets are treated like members of the family.We give our pets gifts at Christmas and for their birthdays. Sometimes we even sing "Happy Birthday" to them. I am excited about the prospect of having my own furry friend and can't wait to hit up some of San Diego's great dog beaches!

More to come on the dog adoption process as things move along...

temporary blog design

2010-08-03T16:47:00.000-07:00

Okay, people. I just HAD to get rid of the black background. It was starting to drive me nuts! Consider this a placeholder blog design while I work out the nitty gritty details of getting it to actually look the way I want it to. I've decided perhaps it might be easier for me to take it one step at a time, instead of trying to do it all at once, which creates angst, apprehension, and...well...not much else.

So for starters, we've got a nice white background. And, yes, I do realize my header is no longer centered. I'll be working this weekend on a background, and we shall see what happens.

Stay tuned...

it is hot

2010-07-16T14:46:00.000-07:00

and I like it! After a few weeks of very un-San Diego-like weather, it FINALLY feels like summer!

Also, I have not forgotten about my visual revamp of the blog...but I am finding it more difficult to work with Blogger's new "Design" portion to update things. Hopefully I'll get it worked out soon, because I'm ready for some change. :)

Warning...

2010-06-18T09:25:00.000-07:00

...this blog is in serious need of a visual makeover!

Watch for the new and improved to arrive in the next couple of weeks...

City of Brotherly Love

2010-06-14T19:56:00.000-07:00

A couple weeks ago I traveled to Philadelphia for the first time on a business trip. While I was working most of the time, I did get a chance to sneak out and see some of the city, as well as chow down on a yummy Philly cheese steak sandwich (which I failed to get a photo of).

The view from our hotel room.

Across the street from the hotel.

Independence Hall

Reading Terminal Market

It was a hopping week in Philadelphia, with the Stanley Cup Playoffs, Phillies vs. Padres game, and the start of Philadelphia Beer Week. Definitely a city to visit again when I have more time to check it out!

palm trees

2010-05-28T18:00:00.000-07:00

When the wind blows through the palm trees at the end of my cul-de-sac, it sounds like water, soft waves coming up on the shore. It's very peaceful.

I like it a lot.

sometimes things don't go the way they should

2010-05-20T22:00:00.000-07:00

This afternoon was a bit of a failure. I purposely ate my lunch early today, while working, so that I could use my one-hour break to go have the oil in my car changed. This is a task I have been putting off for about two weeks now.

On my way to Jiffy Lube, I stopped at Starbucks. It was a beautiful afternoon, and I knew the Jiffy Lube has a couple tables outside. I thought I'd get myself an iced coffee and sit outside and read my book while they worked on the car.

This was a great plan. Until I got back in my car, took a sip of my iced vanilla latte, and somehow...somehow leaked a sizable amount onto my shirt and my pants. Khaki pants. Pretty much white pants. Right on the crotch. (I still don't know HOW the coffee spilled.) Usually I have Wet Ones wipes in my car, which would have been handy at that moment. Alas, the Wet Ones were sitting in a beach bag at home...I didn't have any tissues or anything that could be used to wipe, sop, or otherwise come to my aid.

Dilemma.

You see, I wasn't going home after work today. I was going to my parents' place for dinner, and then to a youth performance of Beauty and the Beast at my dad's church. So I couldn't very well attend with a big coffee stain on my crotch. So...continue on to Jiffy Lube...or make a beeline for Target to salvage my outfit?

I thought I would try to run in quickly and just find a skirt that I could wear with my shirt...it was black. You couldn't see the coffee...or I could take off the shirt and just go with the black tank top. The trick was going to be finding something that would also match my coral-pink cardigan, which I mercifully was not wearing during the coffee episode. Maybe it would take me ten minutes to grab a skirt and then I could still get to Jiffy Lube.

I quickly realized after entering Target that this was not going to be an easy task. There were no skirts conducive to my needs. Not one. On to the dresses...and yet another problem. My bra of choice today was lime green. Lime green. Which immediately ousted anything white. It also meant I should probably avoid spaghetti straps, since my vibrant bra straps would stand out so much.

I wandered around for probably forty minutes up and down the clothing aisles, smelling like coffee....which I guess isn't such an awful thing to emanate if it can't be the perfume one spritzed on in the morning. There were several cute dresses, but I needed to find one that would match my black flats and my pink sweater. Not as easy as it sounds.

I finally settled on a $15 plain black tank dress, which I figured I could use all summer as a swim cover-up as well, completely justifying my purchase.

Since I was in Target nearly the full hour of my break, when I returned to the car, a lot of the ice in my latte had melted, so it was a little watered down. Back at the office I changed into the new dress and rubbed at the coffees stains on my pants with a Tide to Go pen.

So. Not quite the productive and slightly relaxing afternoon I was hoping for. And my car still needs an oil change. Also, I was very suspicious of my coffee the rest of the afternoon...

It's time for a post...

2010-05-13T16:21:00.000-07:00

about a few of my favorite things.

Cheese
The other day at Trader Joe's while perusing the cheese selection, I espied a wedge of cheese with a green rind. Intriguing! It was a hunk of Dubliner's made with Irish Stout. Of course I want to try the green-rinded cheese made with Irish Stout! It's pretty delicious, by the way.

Organix Coconut Milk Anti-Breakage Serum
It smells awesome. I used John Frieda Frizz-Ease Hair Serum for a long time, and I liked it all right. But it's pretty thick. Not only does the Organix Coconut Milk smell delicious, it's lightweight. And it's cheaper. It makes me want to buy the coconut milk shampoo and conditioner too. I am resisting the urge only because every tip I've ever read about taking care of your curly hair insists that you use a shampoo and conditioner made for your hair. I have not found a favorite one of those yet...

The Goo Goo Dolls
Every once in a while I'll find a Goo Goo Dolls song that I just fall in love with. They are one of those bands with a solid record of making great music for years on end. I like the old stuff just as much as the new stuff. In fact, it is about time for a new record. There was a rumor of a new release in the late spring of 2010...which is NOW!

Orbit Sweet Mint Gum
It's not as powerful as spearmint, but just as refreshing. And it's just the right shade of green.

Words and Pictures
Check out my other blogs to see why!
RAW
Stephanie Grace Photography

Thank goodness for humor

2010-04-09T08:41:00.000-07:00

If you have not seen Axe Cop yet, you MUST check it out. It is amazing. The comic is written by a now-six-year-old boy, and illustrated by his 29-year-old brother. It is all kinds of wonderful. And particularly hilarious. Oh, the creative genius of a six-year-old boy...

This made my week, and I am now a subscribed reader. Look, I am even providing the link for you a third time: http://axecop.com/. You should probably click on it. If I were you, I would go straight to Episodes and start from Episode 1, to get the full story and concept and background of Axe Cop.

Happy reading and laughing.

Good Friday

2010-04-02T11:16:00.000-07:00

"Our Lord has written the promise of resurrection, not in books alone, but in every leaf in springtime."

~Martin Luther~

A Happy Good Friday and Easter to all.

Carlsbad Flower Fields

2010-03-28T20:38:00.000-07:00

This weekend I visited the Carlsbad Flower Fields with a friend. It was my first time. We didn't know we were going on Kids Day. And there LOTS of families there! It was a gorgeous San Diego Saturday full of warm sunshine. Spending it outside in the beautiful flower fields was the perfect way to enjoy the weather.

Beautiful flower fields (and, yes, that IS a port-a-potty in the corner...). Carlsbad is famous for these flowers: ranunculus. Isn't that a fun word? I am pretty fond of them. Here's a closer shot of these cute flowers.

Aren't they pretty? And they come in such great colors too!

Here's a view of the fields overlooking Carlsbad, the outlet mall (yay!), and the ocean. Not a bad view!

Definitely worth the $10 admission fee!

songs for the soul

2010-03-18T21:12:00.000-07:00

Bono said it:

It's such an extraordinary thing, music. It is how we speak to God finally--or how we don't. Even if we're ignoring God. It's the language of the spirit. If you believe that we contain within our skin and bones and spirit that might last longer than your time breathing in and out--if there is a spirit, music is the thing that wakes it up.

So have many others. Tolstoy said that music was the shorthand of emotion. Martin Luther called it a "fair and glorious gift of God." Aldous Huxley said that after silence, music comes closest to expressing the inexpressible.

Most people I know would say that their souls are stirred by music, especially during wearisome seasons for spirit.

I've always loved music, and it has definitely been something to turn to in the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. Here's my personal playlist of songs for the soul. These are the songs I find myself turning to when in the throes of pain, sadness, or just general weariness in the state of calamity and destruction of the world in which we live.

I've provided links to the albums. If you could use a little soul soothing, check them out.

The Glorious Unseen

Album: Tonight the Stars Speak

Tonight the Stars Speak
Hear Our Prayers
Close to Your Heart

Building 429

Album: Space In Between Us

No One Else Knows

Album: Iris to Iris

You Carried Me

Bebo Norman

Album: Between the Dreaming and the Coming True

I Will Lift My Eyes

Hillsong United
Album: All of the Above

Lead Me to the Cross
Never Let Me Go

David Crowder Band
Album: Can You Hear Us?

You're Everything

Fee
Album: Hope Rising

Arms That Hold the Universe

Bethany Dillon

Album: Imagination

Be Near Me

Kutless
Album: To Know That You're Alive

Guiding Me Home

Album: Hearts of the Innocent

Promise of a Lifetime

Album: It Is Well

What Faith Can Do
Everything I Need
I'm Still Yours

Jeremy Camp

Album: Speaking Louder Than Before

There Will Be A Day

Meredith Andrews

Album: The Invitation

You're Not Alone (both the band and acoustic versions are good)
Draw Me Nearer

Spring has Sprung

2010-03-09T18:00:00.000-08:00

It is spring in San Diego. I think spring may just be my favorite season here, and I know we don't get a lot in the way of seasons. But spring definitely exists. It is the one time of year when this near-desert locale is green. We have been getting a lot of rain this winter, at least by San Diego standards, and it is totally worth it. All the hills are lush, and random flowers pop up along the freeways. It is warm (usually), but not yet hot and dry like summer. Everything smells awesome. And I really like to smell things.

One of the greatest scents God created is orange blossoms. Seriously, if Estee Lauder could bottle that stuff I would wear nothing else. It is amazing. At my parents' house, the air is so heavily perfumed with it this time of year, it's intoxicating.

It has rained every Saturday for the last four or five weeks now. I am a little upset that we've had sunny, beautiful days during the week while I'm sitting in my office, and rain and wind on my days off. But...today there are blue skies, some big puffy clouds, and a spring breeze. And the forecast for the weekend is sunny!

So welcome, Spring, to San Diego. We're so glad to see you again.

Happy Spring.

moved

2010-03-01T15:18:00.000-08:00

I moved this weekend! In the rain, nonetheless. Big thanks to my dad and my brother for making multiple trips to and from my old apartment and my new house. Yes, house! I'm renting the master bedroom in an older San Diego home, full of 70s/80s flair and charm. We have backyard. And I have two closets. Lots of room for all my shoes!

While I hate packing with a passion, and find moving exhausting, I do have to say that it does wonders for the process of simplification--my goal for 2010.

in honor of cupid

2010-02-14T07:00:00.000-08:00

I've always liked this poem by e. e. cummings:

"i carry your heart with me"

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart)

i am never without it (anywhere i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling)

i fear

no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet)

i want no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)

and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life, which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

blessings

2010-01-25T19:55:00.000-08:00

From Come Away My Beloved, Frances J. Roberts

In the morning, lift your heart in song. In the evening, let your requests be made known. And My peace will keep you, and My grace shall be your support.

Turn away from the diverging path; never fear to follow Me. For as the shepherd leads his sheep, you will know with certainty that I go before you. I will bring you to a place of broad pastures, of enlarged vision, of increased fruitfulness, and abounding blessings--and nothing shall prevent me.

Lately, I've been asking God to bless me. And there was a part of me that felt guilty for it. I knew I was already beyond blessed. I didn't lose my job this year. I didn't suffer a traumatic death in my family. I didn't sit on the brink of starvation, or in the dark and cold at night. I've actually had it pretty good. Even before the international crisis of Haiti's earthquake struck, I knew that I was luckier than most, just by living where I live and being born into the family I was, and I know that I take it for granted. Really, there's no reason not to be happy or content.

But I also know that God wants to bless us. He does. Look at Matthew 7: "Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened."

I read something interesting by Brother Lawrence recently, who wrote:

God has infinite treasures to give us. Yet, a little tangible devotion, which passes away in a moment satisfies us. How blind we are, since in this way we tie God's hands, and we stop the abundance of His grace! But when he finds a soul penetrated with living faith, He pours out His grace on it in abundance. God's grace is like a torrent. When it is stopped from taking an ordinary course, it looks for another outlet, and when it finds one, it spreads out with impetuosity and abundance. (emphasis mine)

It got me to thinking. Am I my own road block? Am I satisfied with too little? How much more does God want to give to us, but we never even think to ask?

I may not know what to ask for, but that's okay. Romans 8:26-27 says, "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express."

I'm still getting used to feeling okay about asking God to bless me, and part of that means remembering to acknowledge all the ways in which He already has, and to ask his blessing not only for myself, but in intercessory prayer for my family, friends, even the world.

from the Word

2010-01-13T13:15:00.000-08:00

He brought me out into a spacious place;

He rescued me because He delighted in me.

~Psalm 18:19~

Thoughts on 2010

2010-01-05T10:03:00.000-08:00

Unfortunately, 2009 turned out to be rather disappointing, and I have an inkling that much of the world feels the same way. I was heartened, however, to receive the 2009 statement for my mutual fund this week and see that, indeed, things have been slowly getting better in the world of investment and stock. I am really hoping that this is a foreshadowing of better things to come in all other worlds as well!

Last January, I posted a letter to 2009 (which you can read here). In that letter I said that four things would happen: (1) I would get a new computer, (2) I would thus no longer have an excuse for not writing, (3) I would finish the novel that I started in 2006, and (4) I would save $30 a month to purchase a week of advocacy for the International Justice Mission.

Of these four things, I accomplished two, which I guess isn't half bad. I purchased a new MacBook. And I saved $30 a month for the International Justice Mission, which I gave towards investigative equipment, as a "week of advocacy" was not in the 2009 gift catalog. As for the other two items, I still found plenty of excuses for not writing, and I did NOT finish the novel. Not even close.

Dare I commit myself, in the face of failure, to write more and finish the novel in 2010? Yes. I do dare.

This year I started another blog all about writing, words, and books. Check it out: http://stephaniemeissnerraw.blogspot.com/. Happily, I have been very committed to making sure I post at least twice a week. Usually more. I have also been keeping up with my photography blog by posting at least twice a week. This means that I have already been writing more and have proven that I CAN be consistent and committed. Hooray!

O course, 2009 wasn't all bad. The highlight of the year? Without a doubt, the Mediterranean cruise my grandma took all us girls on in June. Seven lovely ladies, and we were blessed to see Barcelona, the Amalfi Coast, Pompeii, Rome, Florence, Nice, and Marseille. It was amazing, and definitely gave me the travel bug.

I also had the great pleasure of visiting my best friend, Dom, in Guadalajara, Mexico, in April, where she is an elementary school teacher.

My dear friend and former roommate, Rachel, got married in August, and I flew to Minnesota for a week to take part in all the wedding festivities and support her as a bridesmaid.

I guess, all in all, I can't complain about the past year. It has had its ups and downs--really, a few too many downs, if you ask me. But I know that I'm still beyond blessed. And it should be considered a privilege to get to live life all over again in a brand new year.

Here we go, 2010!

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-25T06:00:00.000-08:00

"Led by the light of faith serenely beaming,

with glowing hearts by His cradle we stand."

it's reindeer...

2009-12-17T10:34:00.000-08:00

This morning I was listening to a radio station that plays only Christmas music during the month of December, and there was a well-known version of "Here Comes Santa Claus" playing. I couldn't help but cringe every time the singer reprised, "Vixen and Blitzen and all his reindeers are pulling on the reins..."

It's reindeer, people, not reindeers.

O Christmas Tree

2009-12-05T19:54:00.001-08:00

My roommate and I got our tree today--a nice 6-foot Douglas fir. He smells heavenly. I kinda want to sleep on the living room floor tonight just so I can breathe it in.

Tomorrow night...ornaments!

Augustine

2009-12-02T10:02:00.000-08:00

"You called, you cried, you shattered my deafness. You sparkled, you blazed, you drove away my blindness. You shed your fragrance, and I drew in my breath, and I pant for you. I tasted and now I hunger and thirst. You touched me and now I burn with longing for your peace."

~ St. Augustine~

I love Augustine. His writings always invoke inspiration and awe.

Highlights

2009-11-23T20:22:00.000-08:00

Highlights of my trip to New Orleans (aka N'awlins):

1. The awesome brick wall and huge windows in our hotel room.

2. More fried food than I would ever care to eat in a week (highlight or lowlight?)

3. Being asked to take photos with some of my authors.

4. Reconnecting with "conference people" friends.

5. Braving Bourbon Street on a Saturday night.

6. The awesome live music at our bar of choice on Bourbon.

7. The young (sober) man who, just before exiting said bar with his buddies, told me I was extraordinarily beautiful. (Extraordinarily!)

New Orleans, I wish I could have seen more of you. Thank you for not flashing me. Man Who Called Me Beautiful, you made my night, maybe even my year. Thanks for your sincerity.

Way down yonder in New Orleans...

2009-11-16T21:06:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow I'm headed to New Orleans for the week for a work conference.

Bourbon Street, here I come...

seasons in san diego

2009-11-07T11:16:00.000-08:00

Even though I live in Southern California--and only a mile or two from the beach--I am happy to report that fall still makes its presence known.

Right outside my living room window I can watch the leaves turn. This was taken last weekend. Today there are more leaves turned scarlet, and a carpet of them on the ground below.

on joy

2009-10-28T22:08:00.000-07:00

A wonderful friend gave me the book Come Away My Beloved by Frances J. Roberts a couple of years ago. This little book has ministered to my heart many times as I've read and re-read it. This week I read "The Healing Power of Joy" and really enjoyed this portion:

Bring Me your sorrow, and watch for the sunrise of the resurrection. Yes, truly there always comes a resurrection--a morning when hope is reborn and life finds new beginning. Wait for it as tulip bulbs anticipate the spring. The rarest of blooms are enhanced by the coldness of winter. The snow plays her part in producing spring's pageant. But when the blossoms break through, we do not then turn back to thoughts of winter, but instead, we look ahead to the full joys of the coming summer.

So you must do also. Your God is your maker. He is your defender. And He is mighty to save.

I love the image of the most beautiful blooms being enhanced as they are by the coldest of winters. What a great hope that gives us for ourselves when we're find ourselves going through "cold" times! And Zephaniah 3:17 is my favorite verse of the Bible: "The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing."

When I looked up the book on Amazon I found that Frances has written multiple other books too, and think I just may need to go check out a few others as well.

on faith

2009-10-16T10:31:00.000-07:00

"Faith is a cop-out. If the only way you can accept an assertion is by faith, then you are conceding that it can't be taken on its own merits." (Dan Barker)

There’s a problem with this statement, and it’s not just from a religious standpoint. The very definition of “faith” is a firm belief in something for which there is no proof (check out Webster’s Dictionary).

It is maddening, really, how simultaneously simple and complex the idea of faith is...believing in that thing which you cannot see, cannot feel, no questions asked, all doubts laid aside, having steadfast confidence—no matter what happens. How can something so simple—just believe—be so hard to grasp? No one can convince someone else to have that faith; they have to decide for themselves. A choice must be made to surrender all those unanswered questions and unknowns and uncertainties.

We cannot give up only some things and have true, all-encompassing faith and abandon in God. He doesn't ask for part of us, but for all of us. It's about giving up our "right" to anything and everything that we place value in—family, friends, lovers, dreams, goals, our very selves.

We ask whether or not the beauty of the world and the suffering of the world can truly come from the same hand. If they are from the same hand, we wonder what in the world God is thinking, and how He can truly be good and compassionate and loving. If they are not from the same hand, we wonder how God can truly be all-powerful, for if He was and He did not initially have his hand in our suffering, then why would he not intercede on our behalf and end it.

Believing—if only for a moment—that God does indeed exist and, in fact, has His hand in and on everything, we also have to believe in our own smallness, knowing that this universe is both complex and intelligible, and that He who fashioned such a world out of nothing might also be able to bring something beautiful out of all that is wrong. To envision a Godless universe—to strip away that intelligent being leaves nothing but a terrible and mindless force. What could be worse? Truly it comes down to that complex simplicity of faith—believing in such a God, believing in Him enough to know that He doesn't waste suffering, believing that when we are crying out to Him, our tears and prayers aren't falling into an empty void, but into a mind and power that ultimately and infinitely cares for us.

Folks like Mr. Barker have decided that God does not exist. There is no tangible proof of His existence, so it is foolish to have faith in God.

Neither, however, is there tangible proof for His non-existence.

I love what Oscar Wilde says:

“Skepticism is the beginning of Faith.”

Wilde was not a religious person, but I think he struck gold here. There is nothing wrong with questioning our faith, whatever it may lie in. Asking honest questions and seeking the answers with open ears and an open mind will challenge us and strengthen our faith in the end.

Welcome, October

2009-10-02T10:46:00.000-07:00

"There is no season when such pleasant and sunny spots may be lighted on, and produce so pleasant an effect on the feelings, as now in October."

- Nathaniel Hawthorne -

little piece of hope

2009-09-16T21:35:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I lost this:

I didn't realize it was missing until late afternoon. I had trouble putting it on in the morning because I had just lathered my hands with lotion. But I gave it a good tug to make sure it was on properly before leaving the house. Apparently, it was not on properly.

I kept my eyes open the last couple hours at work, checking the dimly lit hallway on my way to the printer, the path between the printer and the ladies rest room, my own office. Nothing. It wasn't in my car when I left to go home. Nor was it in the parking lot. It was gone.

Or was it?

Today, when I left my office I walked out in the empty parking lot to my car. Unlocked the doors and threw my stuff in the backseat. Opened the front door to slide in and there, laying on the pavement right next to my door, was the necklace. Laying there as though someone knew I was coming and had placed it there for me.

I know what probably happened is that it somehow got stuck between the door and the seat and I didn't see it in the five or six times I had been in and out of the car since I put it on yesterday. When I left for lunch today I probably kicked it and it fell out onto the ground.

But I much prefer that magical reappearance. Someone knew I needed a little piece of hope this week. That necklace wasn't anything extraordinarily special, and I would have been fine going on with my life without. But it's been a hard week. A hard month. And finding that little sparkly piece of jewelry after I thought it was long gone was like a reminder that good things happen, even when we least expect them.

~ Psalm 52:9~

I will praise you forever for what you have done; in your name I will hope, for your name is good. I will praise you in the presence of your saints.

Wicked

2009-08-28T10:42:00.000-07:00

This week I went to see Wicked and it was fabulous! I knew it would be the tale of Glinda and The Wicked Witch of the West (made by famous by The Wizard of Oz) and what happened before Dorothy and Toto showed up. But I was unprepared for a story that made the audience partial to the supposed "bad guy."

She really wasn't so bad after all.

oh brother

2009-08-18T16:43:00.000-07:00

faith on film

2009-08-14T08:50:00.000-07:00

I came across this in World Magazine this week: A feature article on a New York photographer who has created a project of photos of people worshipping God. Check out the article here.

I googled the photographer and found her website here.

"Lifted Up in New York City." That's the title of the project. There's a really beautiful slideshow of the images: folks of all different ages, races, genders in various forms and stages of worship. Very powerful stuff.

smart fridge

2009-07-28T07:25:00.001-07:00

Check this out: http://www.readwriteweb.com/archives/internet_fridges.php

It never ceases to amaze me what we can come up with in our modern world. While the prospect of a computerized refrigerator is actually a little creepy, I am in favor of the idea of the fridge being able to tell me when something has been in there too long and should be removed. That is one surprise I would be more than happy to forgo!

things I learned last week

2009-07-23T09:08:00.001-07:00

1) Replacing the fuel pump is more costly than replacing the alternator.

2) Sometimes, I have a really hard time asking for too much help.

3) Finding parking in Del Mar on a beautiful Saturday is close to impossible.

4) Dog beaches are really awesome.

5) Kidney (as in steak-and-kidney-pie kidney) is NOT delicious.

6) Microsoft Office 2007 is a problem-child.

7) My drying rack expands to hold more clothing at one time.

8) Ulta sells toothbrushes.

9) Lemon juice tastes good on just about everything.

seeking justice

2009-07-18T17:54:00.000-07:00

He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.

Micah 6:8

Four summers ago I did a journalism internship with Reign Ministries. One of my tasks was creating and sending the weekly newsletter of updates from our short-term mission teams serving all over the world. One of our teams went to Nepal and spent a whole day in an orphanage that rescues children and young women from Nepal's rampant sex slave trade.

While reading and editing the team's mission update I realized this was an injustice that I felt very strongly about. I thought to myself, "This is what I would do if I found myself with a lot of money all of sudden. Open a home somewhere in the world where women are forced into prostitution because there is nothing better for them."

Unfortunately, I have never found myself with a large sum of unexpected money. But there are other ways we can help people across the world who are entangled in this demoralizing industry.

My good friend from high school, Ann, works for an Orange County-based organization called The International Princess Project. This organization helps restore the lives of women formerly enslaved in prostitution in India. To do so, they teach them to sew pajamas called PUNJAMMIES™, which are sold online. The proceeds go back to the women to pay for holistic aftercare after they are rescued, give them a fair trade wage, and build a saving's account for them so they can rebuild their lives after they go through aftercare.

In India, millions of women and girls work as prostitutes. Many have been trafficked, kidnapped, lured with promises of jobs, or sold by their own families into sexual slavery. Some as young as six years old have become sex workers (the actual term used in India) due to poverty or lack of opportunities. Within the huge, cosmopolitan city of Mumbai, lies the largest red-light district in the world, which is home to a myriad of injustice, abuse, and horrors.

One million children are trafficked into the sex trade each year, taken from their families and forced to work as prostitutes. In Mumbai alone, ninety cases of HIV are reported every hour. Once in the sex trade, women and girls may be forced to have intercourse with up to twenty clients per day.

You can help bring hope to women who have been rescued or escaped from forced prostitution and human trafficking! By purchasing pajamas these women have made, you help empower them to restore their lives. While living in a safe, holistic recovery home, the women learn to sew PUNJAMMIES™. PUNJAMMIES™ help the women support themselves with skill and dignity, heal in body and spirit, and live lives of freedom.

If everyone takes a small piece of responsibility in the fight against human trafficking and forced prostitution, we can overcome the dark reality these women have lived and prevent others from experiencing the same. Please purchase PUNJAMMIES™ online at www.punjammies.com. Every sale contributes to restoring hope and dignity to another life.

maxim

2009-06-18T00:16:00.000-07:00

A soul is the more dependent on grace, the higher the perfection to which it aspires; and the grace of GOD is the more needful for each moment, as without it the soul can do nothing. The world, the flesh, and the devil join forces and assault the soul so straitly and so untiringly that, without humble reliance on the ever-present aid of GOD, they drag the soul down in spite of all resistance. Thus to rely seems hard to nature, but grace makes it become easy, and brings with it joy.

-Brother Lawrence, The Spiritual Maxims

fun with words

2009-06-05T10:51:00.001-07:00

My mom actually introduced me to this site months and months ago: www.wordle.net. It is so fun and addicting! You can paste any selection of text into the wordle machine, and it generates a fun, artistic rendering of those words! The only downside is that you can't save your wordles...but you can post them to the public gallery.

Check this out. Here is my wordle of this blog:

    title="Wordle: blogspot">    src="http://www.wordle.net/thumb/wrdl/918370/blogspot"
    alt="Wordle: blogspot"
    style="padding:4px;border:1px solid #ddd">

at last

2009-05-09T10:44:00.000-07:00

I have been searching for just the right pair of red high heels for quite some time now. At last I have found them! (Thank you, Kohls.) They are just the right color red. Just the right heel height. And the perfect amount of shiny patent.

I have this theory about red high heels and how every girl should own a pair. Even if they never wear heels. Not all women have realized this yet, but deep down, they know that they need some scarlet footwear.

They can be worn with jeans for a just a smidgen of pow at the hemline. They can be worn with your little black dress for a more dramatic effect. They are bold and sassy, and I believe they can empower even the most timid female.

So ladies, if you don't already own a pair, consider adding red high heels to your list of "things I need." Believe me, you need them.

in memory

2009-03-30T15:43:00.000-07:00

The best great-grandparents a kid could ever ask for.

I <3 Ireland

2009-03-17T18:11:00.000-07:00

Nearly seven years ago (yikes!) I went to Northern Ireland with Youth for Christ on a service project. It was an amazing experience, and I fell in love with the country of Ireland and Northern Ireland. Close to my heart, I really hope to go back someday.

In honor of St. Patty's Day and the wonderful country of Ireland, I'm posting one of favorite Irish blessings:

May the road rise up to meet you. May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face and rains fall soft upon your fields. And until we meet again, May God hold you in the palm of His hand.

the power of the nap

2009-03-10T08:29:00.001-07:00

Naps are important.

March 9 was National Napping Day. I wish I had known. I have still not recovered from the lost hour of Daylight Savings. I definitely could have used a nap on Monday. And Tuesday. And probably today too!

It is so wonderful and strange to leave the office in full daylight now, and I love it! I'm planning on busting out my new running shoes soon and putting in some miles on evenings after work now. Yay for longer days. But boo for lost sleep. Every rose has it's thorn, I suppose.

This is my life

2009-02-12T12:43:00.000-08:00

So I saw this posted on a friend's blog, and it was intriguing to me. There are 99 items on this list, and you're supposed to highlight in bold those things you have done in life. You can see mine below:

Here are the rules: Bold the things you've done and post on your blog.

1. Started your own blog.
2. Slept under the stars.
3. Played in a band.
4. Visited Hawaii.
5. Watched a meteor shower.
6. Given more time than you can afford to charity.
7. Been to Disneyland.
8. Climbed a mountain.
9. Held a praying mantis.
10. Sang a solo.
11. Bungee jumped.
12. Visited Paris.
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea.
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch.
15. Adopted a child.
16. Had food poisoning.
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty.
18. Grown your own vegetables.
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France.
20. Slept on an overnight train.
21. Had a pillow fight.
22. Hitch hiked.
23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill.
24. Built a snow fort.
25. Held a lamb.
26. Gone skinny dipping.
27. Run a Marathon.
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice.
29. Seen a total eclipse.
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset.
31. Hit a home run.
32. Been on a cruise.
33. Seen Niagra Falls in person.
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancesters.
35. Seen an Amish community.
36. Taught yourself a new language.
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied.
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person.
39. Gone rock climbing.
40. Seen Michelangelo's David.
41. Sung karaoke.
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt.
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant.
44. Visited Africa.
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight.
46. Been transported in an ambulance.
47. Had your portrait painted.
48. Gone deep sea fishing.
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person.
50. Been to the top of Eiffel Tower in Paris.
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling.
52. Kissed in the rain.
53. Played in the mud.
54. Gone to a drive-in theater.
55. Been in a movie.
56. Visited the Great Wall of China.
57. Started a business.
58. Taken a martial arts class.
59. Visited Russia.
60. Served at a soup kitchen.
61. Sold Girl Scout cookies.
62. Gone wale watching.
63. Got flowers for no reason.
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma.
65. Gone sky diving.
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp.
67. Bounced a check.
68. Flown in a helicopter.
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy.
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial.
71. Eaten caviar.
72. Pieced a quilt.
73. Stood in Times Square.
74. Toured the Everglades.
75. Been fired from a job.
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London.
77. Broken a bone.
78. Been a passenger on a motorcycle.
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person.
80. Published a book.
81. Visited the Vatican.
82. Bought a brand new car.
83. Walked in Jerusalem.
84. Had your picture in the newspaper.
85. Kissed a stranger at midnight on New Year's Eve.
86. Visited the White House.
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating.
88. Had chickenpox.
89. Saved someone's life.
90. Sat on a jury.
91. Met someone famous.
92. Joined a book club.
93. Got a tattoo.
94. Had a baby.
95. Seen the Alamo in person.
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake.
97. Been involved in a law suit.
98. Owned a cell phone.
99. Been stung by a bee.

After doing this, I got to thinking, "What are the things I most want to accomplish off of this list? If I can't accomplish all 99--and let's face it, there are some I don't want to accomplish--what feats would I choose to mark my life? (note: these are not in any particular order)

1) Adopt a child. A couple years ago when my parents were preparing to move, I made several trips back home to purge my old stuff so they wouldn't have to move a bunch of junk! While I was purging, I found a list of goals that I had made for myself when I was probably eight or nine years old. One of the things on that list was to adopt a child. (By the way, what eight-year-old kid thinks of adopting children someday?) I couldn't believe that a dream I had for my life before the age of ten was a dream I still had at 21...and have now.

2) Publish a book. Also on the list of goals from childhood. That one was not so surprising. I've been writing stories since the third or fourth grade. And if you're a regular visitor to this blog, you know that I have a novel in the works at the moment. My plan is to finish that book this year. Whether or not it will publishable is another story!

3) Ride a gondola in Venice. I feel blessed to have had the opportunity to travel to many places. But Italy is the one place I've always wanted to have and not yet been to. I love the idea of Venice...even though I know it's mostly a big tourist trap and hot and crowded. I still want to ride a gondola in Venice someday.

4) Which brings me to one of the items on this list that I will get to accomplish this year: Go on a cruise. My generous grandmother is taking me, my mom, my two aunts, my female cousin, and her brother's girlfriend on a Mediterranean cruise this summer! This cruise will also get me to Italy (just not to Venice), which is even better. We will sail from Barcelona and hit nice, Sicily, Rome, and Florence.

5) Go whale watching. I actually live somewhere where I can make this a reality...and it's not even that expensive. So I am pretty confident that I can make this happen. I think it's a matter of just planning for it and executing the plan! There's a kayaking company in San Diego that does whale watching kayak tours, and I love kayaking, so that sounds awesome!

6) Walk in Jerusalem. Someday I want to go to Israel. I want to walk where Jesus walked. I want to walk the streets of Jerusalem, swim in the Dead Sea, and see the birthplace of Christianity.

7) See the Grand Canyon in person. For some reason, I always feel a bit like a bad American for having never been to the Grand Canyon. I've flown over it many times, but I've never actually been to see it. I met some Australians a couple weeks ago who have been on a tour of North America, and they described their experience seeing the Grand Canyon. I'm sure it's totally breathtaking...but I can't speak from experience.

8) Go to a drive-in movie. This is so simple, but I love the simple things in life. Somehow I've never been to a drive-in movie. I would like to remedy that. Especially if I can go to said drive-in movie in a convertible...even better.

9) Kiss in the rain. This reminds me of the scene in SpiderMan when Kirsten Dunst kisses Toby Maguire as he's hanging upside down. Is it even raining in that scene? I think so. Kissing in the rain is probably not as romantic as it sounds (wet...cold...sloppy?), but I'm still gonna go for it.

I know this list would look better if there were ten things on it...but I'm going to leave it at nine. Nine future accomplishments. I think I can make it happen.

Rain Music

2009-02-06T20:28:00.000-08:00

Rain Music

On the dusty earth-drum

Beats the falling rain;

Now a whispered murmur,

Now a louder strain.

Slender, silvery drumsticks,

On an ancient drum,

Beat the mellow music

Bidding life to come.

Chords of earth awakened,

Notes of greening spring,

Rise and fall triumphant

Over everything.

Slender, silvery drumsticks

Beat the long tattoo--

God the Great Musician,

Calling life anew.

~Joseph Seamon Cotter, Jr.~

I woke up at four this morning to the sound of rain. It was glorious. Nothing is better than laying cozy in your bed, warm and safe when there's inclement weather outside. I've always loved late nights when the wind is howling, rain (sometimes snow) is falling, and it's cold--and there's nowhere to be but tucked under the covers.

It's finally here!

2009-01-31T18:10:00.000-08:00

My new MacBook has finally entered my life and I'm sooo happy! It is fast, beautiful, reliable, and...oh so pretty. Such an event ushers in much responsibility though. I must, must, must get myself back on a solid writing schedule. In the fall, I had a whole schedule laid out for myself, and I was going to finish the book before Christmas. Well, life has a funny way of getting in the way sometimes. October, November, and December were such busy months, and having a decrepit computer made for a really good excuse to put aside the writing life. So. Now that life has slowed down a little bit and I have this wonderful new computer, I am going to create a new schedule for myself and do my absolute hardest to stick to it!

Finishing the novel will be such a huge accomplishment. I don't even feel as though I would to do anything with it--just know that it is finished. And I have some other ideas I would love to start working on, but I just can't leave a thing undone. The novel must be done.

So, no more excuses. There are chapters to be written, scenes to be developed, and characters to get to know.

Wish me luck!

anticipation

2009-01-22T22:09:00.000-08:00

“"Well," said Pooh, "what I like best -- " and then he had to stop and think. Because although Eating Honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than when you were, but he didn't know what it was called.”

Ahhh, the thrill of anticipation! My favorite time of year is the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas. I love Christmas...but really, it's everything leading up to Christmas that makes it so wonderful. The decorations, the music, the food, the shopping, time off from work, time spent with family and friends. All good stuff!

When I lived in Minnesota, I used to get pretty depressed after Christmas. Because after all the decorations were stowed away and the holiday music was pushed to the back of the shelf, all that was left was one heck of a long, dreary, cold winter ahead. It was definitely not the most wonderful time of the year.

Now that I make my dwelling in SoCal, the end of December isn't quite so sad. Yes, the decorations and music are still put away. The television is full of ads for specials at the gym, weight loss tea, and exercise equipment. And there's no more work holidays until Memorial Day. But...winter does not have its death grip wrapped tight. Not here. Last weekend I got a tan! In January. Somehow it makes the New Year that much more exciting.

It's a New Year. We have a new President. I'm getting a new computer. I've started a new blog (http://iwitnessphotography.blogspot.com). There are eleven full months of new 2009 ahead of us. I know the door is open for plenty of good and bad both, but I can't help but thrill at the unknown and feel just a bit of anticipation to see what's to come.

dreams

2009-01-18T22:08:00.001-08:00

Last night I met Matthew McConaughey in my dreams.

Enough said.

Letter to the New Year

2009-01-04T19:03:00.000-08:00

Dear Year 2009:

Welcome. Now that we are are few days into your being, I thought there might be a few things you should know before we get too far ahead of ourselves:

1) We're going to get a new computer this year (like next week).
2) With said new computer, there will no longer be any excuse for not writing.
3) That said, this year we will finish that novel I have been working on since Spring 2006.

In case you haven't heard, worldwide economy has been in a bit of a pickle lately. That, however, does not mean that my personal economy is in a pickle or will inevitably become pickled. Keeping good practices in hand, this year we're saving $30 a month for the International Justice Mission. In December, I will purchase a week of advocacy with IJM for victims of oppression.

I'm sure you have lots of surprises up your sleeve in the coming twelve months. FYI: I really like good surprises. I'll try to stay on my toes. Let's make every effort to top 2008. I'm optimistic.

Here's to you,

Stephanie

'Tis the Season...

2008-12-22T19:48:00.000-08:00

...for holiday flicks! Here are some my favorite non-Christmas "Christmas" movies:

1) The Family Stone
Dermot Mulroney, Sarah Jessica Parker, Claire Danes, Diane Keaton, Rachel McAdams, Luke Wilson. The all-star cast portrays the eccentric Stone family celebrating a holiday gathering full of surprises.

2) Stepmom
Julia Roberts, Susan Sarandon, Ed Harris, Jena Malone. I love almost any Julia Roberts movie. Humorous and poignant, this is a tale of an unlikely friendship between two extraordinary women.

3) Love Actually
Hugh Grant, Liam Neeson, Colin Firth, Laura Linney, Emma Thompson. It's coined the "ultimate" romantic comedy, but I didn't fall for it the first time. It is, however, a great and unique story depicting the twists and turns of love.

4) The Holiday
Cameron Diaz, Kate Winslet, Jude Law, Jack Black, Eli Wallach. Probably the most holiday-ish of the bunch, this is a charming love story that happens to take place during the most wonderful time of the year.

5) While You Were Sleeping
Sandra Bullock, Bill Pullman, Peter Gallagher. It's schmaltzy and sentimental, but it's a hilarious story of mix-ups and choices.

Happy Holidays to all!

everywhere I look, I see rain

2008-12-17T17:51:00.000-08:00

I have recently discovered something new about myself.

If there is one pet peeve my friends and family know best of mine, it is that I hate wet socks! This is then followed by socks with holes in them. Apparently I am very picky about my feet.

Living in San Diego, there is not much in the way of "inclement" weather. This week, however, we have been doused with rain. It rained all day on Monday. While enjoying the seldom-heard pit-pat pit-pat of drops, I found there is something I really don't like about a rainy day. Something that irks me even more than a damp sock...and that...is a soggy hem. I hate it when the hem of your pants gets soaked. Not only does this increase the chance of acquiring a wet sock, but you cannot simply put your trousers away upon returning home and slipping into comfy-cozy sweats. They have to dry.

So, knowing full well that we were in for another rainy day today, I tried to devise the best possibly way to avoid the same mishap that befell my pants on Monday. I did not come up with anything clever...but I did decide to wear my boots today. So far...my pants are still dry. But I am not done going outside yet.

power

2008-12-11T08:43:00.001-08:00

I tend to want to keep this blog free of posts that are seasoned and spun of politics, economics, and the like. But I feel I must say something in regards to this news article.

Over this 2008 year, I have loosely followed the string of news (mostly bad) coming out of Zimbabwe and its tyrannical leader, Robert Mugabe. Despite the increasingly rising number of deaths due to the recent cholera outbreak, still he insists things are under control.

Mugabe has been in control of the Zimbabwean government since the country took its independence from Britain in the early 80s. Since then, a spiral of disaster and strife has claimed hold on the country.

Because of one man's compulsion for total power, authority, and dominance, hundreds of people have been and are dying while that same man tells the rest of the world--anxious to help--that he has everything in hand.

"Those who seek absolute power, even though they seek it to do what they regard as good, are simply demanding the right to enforce their own version of heaven on earth. And let me remind you, they are the very ones who almost always create the most hellish tyrannies. Absolute power does corrupt..."
-Barry Goldwater-

the day has finally arrived...

2008-11-26T08:52:00.001-08:00

When gas in San Diego dips below the $2.00/gallon mark. Yeah! I was waiting to turn right at a stoplight on my way to Target on Monday, and on the corner of the intersection, there was a guy with one of those ridiculously long gas-price-changer-rod-thingies pulling numbers down and putting numbers up.

He was working his way up from the diesel price up to the regular unleaded. When he pulled the number 2 away from the price, I was suddenly filled with a sense of anticipation. What was he doing with that number 2? Was it possible he was replacing it with a number 1? He stuck the new number on the end of his long stick. Began to raise it up, and it fell off. Come on, man! The light's not that long! What's it gonna be?

Replace the number. Raise the bar high. Aha! It is a number 1! Gas in San Diego (reportedly one of the most expensive cities in the United States) is now below $2.00. I truly never thought we would ever be able to purchase gas for less than $2.00 a gallon ever again anywhere in the U.S., much less Southern California.

My only regret was that I have a full tank of gas and do not need to purchase the cheap gas.

The Perfect Stranger

2008-10-18T10:33:00.000-07:00

"We sometimes encounter people, even perfect strangers, who begin to interest us at first sight, somehow suddenly, all at once, before a word has been spoken."
-Fyodr Dostoevky-

I like people. I like seeing the same people in the same places at the same time. It makes me feel the oneness with the rest of humanity--we're all here living our lives together.

There is a man who walks his dog up Gilman Drive. I often see him when I am heading to the freeway on my way to work. He always looks slightly disheveled--the I-just-got-out-of-bed-and-I'm-not-quite-awake-yet look. His brown hair will be mussed. The dog, on the other hand--the most adorable beagle--is always ready for the day. Alert, perky, and overjoyed to be out and about. They walk slowly, and the man is almost always wearing a blue or gray shirt. Recently, it has been a fleece pullover, as autumn brings on its damp morning chill.

Then there is the couple who I almost always see from my office window. They arrive in their red two-door car. He, driving, and reverse into the empty space across the lot from where my car is parked. They both get out. He pulls his plastic grocery bag containing lunch from the back seat. She is always wearing jeans and heels. They hug. He kisses her. He heads in to work, and she gets into the car and drives off. It's a sweet ritual.

Amazing how these people--these strangers--become a part of our lives, our daily routine, and when we find that they don't appear as scheduled, a twinge of disappointment floods the soul. There was a series of weeks when I did not see the Man Who Walks the Beagle. When he finally reappeared, this huge smile came to my face the morning I saw him again. I think I actually said out loud, "He's back!"

Cheers to all the unknown folks who surround us, knit us in to the never ending circle of humanity.

Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese

2008-09-12T16:29:00.000-07:00

Billie Burke said that (FYI: she was the actress who played Glinda, the good witch in The Wizard of Oz.).

Last week I went to a free concert at the Hard Rock Cafe in downtown San Diego. Justin Nozuka was playing. (Very talented young man--check him out!) It was a great free event, hosted by the radio station Sophie @ 103.7. It was low-key and Nozuka has this soulful voice that's so easy to listen to.

But the reason I'm posting this blog is not about the music, although I would recommend the artist. The reason I'm posting is the mid-life crisis lady in the women's restroom.

After the show ended, and before my friends and I headed out in the Gaslamp District to walk around, we hit the loo. There was a woman in one of the stalls chatting away--I assumed she was talking on the phone. No one else in the restroom was responding to her, or even seemed to be listening. But after she left the stall and went to the sink, she continued her ranting and raving about how she wished she was young again. "I wish I was young and beautiful again." It was so much more fun.

I peered through the crack behind the door of my own stall. No phone. No blue tooth attached to her ear. She was definitely talking to herself. For what seemed like endless minutes. I was afraid to come out. I didn't want to walk out in all of my twenty-three years while she bitterly commiserated about her lost (and apparently ancient) youth.

When I was a kid, my dad used to jokingly sing the golden ticket song from the old 1970s Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (which was, in fact a musical). Only he changed the words. Instead of singing "I've got a golden ticket, I've got a golden twinkle in my eye..." yada yada, he would sing, "I've got a golden ticket. Nobody else but me! I've got a golden ticket. Nee-ner, nee-ner, nee!"

That's what I felt like I would doing to this bitter, fifty-something woman if I walked out in my wrinkle-free, no gray-hairs, everything-sitting-exactly-where-it's supposed-to glory. Gallivanting about the restroom of the Hard Rock waving my beautiful youth in her face. So I waited until she finally left to emerge, her last remark to herself, "Well, at least I own my own home. At least I can say that."

I like Billie Burke's quirky comment about age and cheese. I hope that someday when I'm "old," I don't ever wish to be something else, or somewhere else in life. I like to think of old age as an award--gray hairs being the crown of glory, of course. Age demands respect, and that starts with the self.

a haiku regarding the four day work week

2008-09-04T16:28:00.000-07:00

Ah, the bliss of one

day less in the week of work.

My heart rejoiceth.

let them eat cake

2008-08-25T10:35:00.000-07:00

This weekend my mom and I went to the opening of Les Miserables at Moonlight Amphiteater. We bought lawn tickets, and they gave us little blue lawn chairs to sit on the grassy knoll up above the stage. We brought a picnic dinner--along with hundreds of other people who showed up early to lay claim to their patch of grass--and books to read and pass the time.

The show was great. The orchestra's live music so much better than any CD. The singing and acting was top notch. And we were watching by moonlight, which is pretty cool too!

During the fifteen minute intermission, the large group of about ten in front of us was celebrating someone's birthday. All of a sudden one of the women in the group stood up, turned around with a plate of cake in hand and said, "Cake anyone?"

I thought it was pretty funny. But then she proceeded to walk amongst all the show-goers behind us with plates of cake, offering it.

"We're celebrating a birthday tonight," she said. "My daughter, the one in the gray hat," pointing back to the family behind.

She approached my mom and I with two plates of cake. "Cake? We brought lots of cake to share. I know you want a piece!" We took a piece to share. It was chocolate, with a layer of sugary sweet icing in the middle and piled on top.

I'm pretty sure she handed out a lot of dessert that night. I wonder how big that cake was? Pretty cool way to celebrate your birthday, huh? Sharing your cake under the moonlight, on the grass, with a bunch of fellow drama-lovers.

pride & joy

2008-08-21T22:46:00.000-07:00

This week one of our big books came back from the printer. This particular book is big in more ways than one. Size. Price. Quality.

I'm not sure how many pounds that book is, but the hard cover behemoth sure isn't small! Its retail price is over $300. Yes! $300 for one book! I can hardly believe it myself, although I am starting to grow accustomed to these big buck books that actually sell.

But the most exciting thing is what is inside the book. There, on the acknowledgments page, is my very own name. This is not the first time my name has appeared in a book--after all, my mom is an author. But that's a little bit different.

She knows me.

The editor of this book, a genius doctor in the Midwest has never met me. Yet there is my name in the front of his book, thanking me for helping bring the book to reality. How cool is that?

This is the thing I like most about my job in the publishing industry. Not getting my name printed inside a book (that just makes me feel good about myself!). But building relationships with all these authors. Talking and walking them through the process of bringing their manuscript to life. It is their pride and joy.

And then it becomes mine.

Even if it does have graphic pictures of neck surgery on the cover.

under the stars

2008-08-15T17:06:00.001-07:00

Last night a couple friends and I headed over to Balboa Park to watch The Parent Trap (the Hayley Mills version--no Lindsay Lohan for us!) out on the lawn by the San Diego Museum of Art. It was, I think, the quintessential summer night. Hundreds of people covered the grass, sitting on blankets and camping chairs, sipping wine and eating cheese and crackers. Dogs hovered on their leashes, yearning to sniff around and see what goodies the neighbors had brought for the event.

There were a some clouds in the sky, and as the movie started, the moon rose up between the eucalyptus trees over the museum. Big, white, and luminous, it shifted across the backdrop of cloud, like a pearl against gray silk.

Unanimous laughter spilled across the lawn at all the funny lines. Some people talked back to the characters in the movie.

It was sensational.

Thoroughly Modern Minneapolis

2008-07-06T14:10:00.000-07:00

More time has passed than I intended. I fear I am lapsing back into the oh-so-terrible state of being a writer and failing to keep up my own blog! Yikes! To my credit, however, in the time that has lapsed between this post about Minneapolis and the post about her sister, St. Paul, I actually had the good fortune to travel to said Minneapolis for a quick weekend.

Shamelessly, one of the things I most miss about living in the Twin Cities is the abundance of Super Target. Sadly, I have yet to see a Super Target in Southern California. Oh, how I miss those aisles upon aisles of affordable stuff that I generally do not need at all. I feel about Super Target as I do about Google. It has everything I need in one place. In Super Target I can buy my groceries, my toiletries, that new DVD I've been wanting, and a Mother's Day present. All in one trip. All in one cart. Astounding!

There are, of course, other wonderful things about the city of Minneapolis. Where St. Paul is more classy, ritzy, old-school, Minneapolis is urban, trendy, artsy, modern. There are tons of art museums in Minneapolis, and I wish I had taken the opportunity to visit more of them while I was there.

One of the signatures of the city of Minneapolis is the giant cherry on a spoon, found in the Sculpture Garden near the Walker Art Center. I'm not sure what the significance is of the giant cherry on a spoon...but it sure is whimsical and fun to look at it. Also provides a great spot for a photo shoot!

And just up the road from the Sculpture Garden is one my personal favorite places in Minneapolis. Uptown. Uptown is awesome. Anything a person could want in food, shopping, entertainment, and leisure can be found in Uptown. It's definitely a hot spot for the nightlife, and Lake Calhoun and Lake of the Isles see plenty of people during the day, fishing, biking, jogging, canoeing, and walking.

Yes, I love me some Uptown. It's a great part of the city with a personality all its own. So if you're ever in the area, check out some of these awesome places!

Stella's Fish Cafe

Zeno Cafe

Chino Latino

The Tea Garden

Salsa Dancing at Famous Dave's

One last great thing about Minneapolis: Holidazzle. First off, it's at Christmastime, which in and of itself is wonderful and makes you feel all warm and toasty inside. This is why Holidazzle is always fun, even if it's only fifteen degrees out. All those warm fuzzies will give you all the warmth you need for just one frigid night.

Every year the downtown Macy's on Nicollet Mall decorates the entire eighth floor of the store in a wonderful, Disney-esque themed walk through. One year it was Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Another year it was The Nutcracker. It's amazing, and totally worth the looong line to get in. Macy's also sponsors the Holidazzle Parade, which runs every weekend between Thanksgiving and Christmas. It's a wonderful conglomeration of a million lights and storybook characters brought to life.

The most livable city in America

2008-05-16T20:16:00.000-07:00

Saint Paul. Supposedly the most livable city in America. I didn't know that until I took a brief visit to the official city website, which also informed me that St. Paul is the Arts and Cultural Capital of the Midwest, which I find easy to believe. One of the greatest things about the Twin Cities is that they are really not twins at all. They are completely and totally different in attitude and atmosphere. Of the two, St. Paul is old-school...a little ritzy...artsy...cultural.

I can also easily think of some reasons why St. Paul might be the most livable city in America. I love my new West Coast life, but there are some things that I truly and heartily miss about good old St. Paul.

1. Parks

There must be hundreds of parks (big and small) scattered around the area. One of my favorite places to hang out was Como Park--walking trails, a beautiful conservatory, mini golf, barbecue pits, and a free zoo...all in one place. I spent many an afternoon watching the spider monkeys in the zoo!

Central Park was another great place to go for an afternoon or evening walk or run...although it still bothers me that it is kind of a poser.

2. Grand Avenue

This adorable stretch of street, lined with trees, is full of character. It's both urban-chic and small-town charming. There's all kinds of places to eat--little nooks, ethnic restaurants, coffeshops, ice cream parlors...and then there's the boutique shopping. It is indeed, a grand place to spend the day!

3. The Winter Carnival

I'm not sure how long this thing has been around, but I think it's a pretty old festivity. It's totally worth it to brave Minnesota's famous sub-zero temps and horizontal, icy winds. There are snow sculptures, ice sculptures, and a wonder-of-wonders entire palace made of ice and lit up in all sorts of colors. It's breathtaking and makes you feel like you're in another world, like Narnia.

Some quality people have come out of St. Paul. F. Scott Fitzgerald, only one of the greatest authors of the 20th century was born in St. Paul. Garrison Keillor--Prairie Home Companion anyone? Charles M. Schulz of Peanuts grew up in St. Paul.

So there you have it. St. Paul. Soon to be followed by her not-so-twin sister, Minneapolis!

You stay classy, San Diego

2008-05-02T17:58:00.000-07:00

What's not to love about Southern California? The perfect Mediterranean climate. Palm trees and the ocean breeze. Sunny, seventy-degrees days. Of course then there's the ridiculous living expenses, fire season, and sharing the road with the other two million San Diegans. But those things pale in comparison with the shining glory that is being a resident of the eighth largest city in the United States.

One of the things I love most about San Diego is that I can be at boogie-boarding at the beach, or hiking in the mountains, or state-park visiting in the desert, or drinking a Corona in Mexico in less than two hours. Who needs four seasons?

San Diego has the amazing ability to be both a major metropolitan hub and a casual, breezy coastal town in one. Let me take you on a tour of some of my favorite San Diego hang-outs.

Seaport Village

Seaport Village is this quaint shopping venue between downtown SD and the breath-taking Coronado Bay Bridge. Full of specialty and themed shops, cute cafes and restaurants on the water, it's the perfect place to spend a warm, sunny day (and aren't they all!) watching the kites being flown on the grassy lawn. Just across the street is the towering Hyatt hotel, whose top-floor bar showcases an amazing view of the bay, Coronado Island, and downtown. A word to the wise...you have to buy a drink in order to enjoy said gorgeous view!

The San Diego Zoo & San Diego Wild Animal Park

The San Diego Zoological Society has the rep for boasting one of the best zoos in the world. The Zoo and the WAP are two separate places with two very different vibes and personalities. The Zoo hangs out next to Balboa Park (another fave by the way) just north of downtown. It's huuuge and home to thousands of rare and endangered animals. The plants rock too. The WAP is a wildlife sanctuary and a beautiful botanical collection nestled in the San Pasqual Valley. My favorite time of day to head to the WAP is late afternoon. In the summer, they're open late, and the best time to ride the safari-like tram is the last one before the sun sets. The animals all come out to eat grass and chill by the watering hole. The surrounding hills turn dusky purple, and soon after the ride ends, the moon rises between the foothills. It's an experience!

The Gaslamp District

San Diego's sweet nightlife rocks in the Gaslamp. Sixteen blocks of shopping, entertainment, amazing restaurants, bars, and clubs. You can park in Horton Plaza (free with validation!) and chill at a single locale, or taste-test a variety. There's always interesting people to watch--sometimes talk to--and for the most part, it's pretty safe.

I'm realizing I could probably have a whole blog about living, working, and playing in San Diego. (Now there's some food for thought...hmmm.) And this barely scratches the surface of this very cool city. But for now, this is it. And besides, I don't want to give it all ways. You'll have to come see for yourself.

back in the saddle again

2008-04-27T20:03:00.001-07:00

So...it's been a while since I've made use of this blog, and there are three reasons for this. Unfortunately, only one is valid.

Reason #1: In February, shortly after my last post, I moved from my parents' home into a new apartment with a sweet roommate. We were without Internet at said apartment for a couple weeks, and I just couldn't come up with enough justification to blog from the office! (This is the one valid reason!)

Reason #2: I knew what I wanted to write about on my blog, but the photos I needed/wanted to accompany the blog posts were stored on my mom's computer.

Reason #3: I have been very, very lazy. It's so sad, I know.

But--no more excuses! My roommate and I are now high-rolling it in the ultra-modern world and have acquired wireless Internet. I have the necessary photos from the other computer. And I've decided to get my fingers in gear and quit being lazy.

So, starting this week, I'm going to be writing a series of blogs (not everyday mind you!) on places that are near and dear to my heart, for varying reasons. It will be sort of like a travel blog...sort of like a blog about being at home.

I'm not making any promises about exactly which day this first travel/home blog will appear, but I can tell you where the first destination will be. It's only fitting to show off my newest hometown--San Diego!

"For my part, I travel not to go anywhere, but to go.

I travel for travel's sake.

The great affair is to move." -

Robert Louis Stevenson-

motion

2008-02-26T11:16:00.000-08:00

"I do not at all understand the mystery of grace--only that it meets us where we are but does not leave us where it found us."

Anne Lamott

Traveling Mercies

Blue Shoe

Bird by Bird

be

2008-02-02T20:29:00.000-08:00

Is it wholly fantastic to admit the possibility that Nature herself strove toward what we call beauty? Face to face with any one of the elaborate flowers which man's cultivation has had nothing to do with, it does not seem fantastic to me. We put survival first. But when we have a margin of safety left over, we expend it in the search for the beautiful. Who can say that Nature does not do the same?

~Joseph Wood Krutch~

ROY G BIV

2008-01-21T22:22:00.000-08:00

I saw a rainbow today. It was unexpected. And short. A brief burst of color in an otherwise bleary sky. It wasn't even wet. I was headed toward the freeway, and the whole sky was gray and cloudy. All of a sudden, there was this one hill hit with a burst of sunlight. Alongside it the rainbow. Red. Orange. Yellow. Green. Blue. Indigo. Violet. All that jazz.

I've been reading through the Bible with my women's Bible study this year (our goal is to read the whole thing in the year 2008!), and recently read the strange, folklore-ish account of Noah and the ark. And the rainbow that God gave him as a sign that He would never again destroy the earth on account of man. Never again would water swallow up our existence. Can you imagine being Noah and seeing that first rainbow for the very first time? I like to imagine it bigger, more brilliant, and vibrant, and colorful than any rainbow any of us has ever seen.

What better symbol of God's grace and hope?

wonder. danger. eternity.

2008-01-14T17:28:00.000-08:00

Pandora. 1896. John William Waterhouse. Oil on canvas. Private Collection.

commuting

2008-01-13T17:00:00.000-08:00

So the other day I was heading toward the freeway on my way to work, along with all the other business-type people. It was a gray, misty morning. Approaching the next intersection, I saw this guy running down the sidewalk. He had a black backpack and black curly hair, the kind found on graduate students, studying literature or physics. Across the intersection was the object of his quest--San Diego's trusty public transportation, a red MTS bus picking people up at the stop. It was apparent he wasn't going to quite make the bus. As it pulled away, the light at the intersection turned red. I stopped. He stopped.

Then he walked out into the road. What is this guy doing? I was thinking to myself, and thanking God that my car automatically locks when I shift out of park. In my rear view, I watched Grad Student approach the shiny "pearlescent" BMW behind me. Mr. Beamer, in his black suit, has his passenger window rolled down, and Grad Student was talking to him through it. Mr. Beamer nodded his head and reached to remove the Very Important Files sitting on the passenger seat, relegating them to the back seat. Grad Student climbed in.

The light turned green, and we all pressed on toward the freeway, to work, to school, to life. At the next light, I checked my rear view mirror again. Mr. Beamer and Grad Student were chatting away. Probably, Grad Student was explaining the fascinating theories in his research program, and Mr. Beamer was trying to persuade him that business is the only way to make it in life. The only way to wear the black suit and drive the shiny, white BMW with the Very Important Files for company.

A couple lights later, I saw the red MTS bus pulled over at a new stop. As I passed the bus, I watched behind me as Mr. Beamer pulled over his shiny, white BMW to drop off Grad Student to catch the bus.

I wanted to thank Mr. Beamer for Grad Student. I felt a smile tug at my lips, and a warm, affable feeling toward humanity in general creep throughout my soul. He's a good guy, Mr. Beamer. Grad student would no longer be late to his fascinating theoretical class.

Who knows? Maybe someday Grad Student will be the next Mr. Beamer, driving a shiny, white BMW, wearing a black suit, carrying some Very Important Files, and he'll stop to give some poor student a break. A shot at punctuality. A ride into the future.

2008-01-03T17:15:00.000-08:00

I am bending my knee
In the eye of the Father who created me,
In the eye of the Son who died for me,
In the eye of the Spirit who cleansed me,
In love and desire.
Pour down upon us from heaven
The rich blessing of Thy forgiveness;
Thou who art uppermost in the City,
Be Thou patient with us.
Grant to us, Thou Saviour of Glory,
The fear of God, the love of God, and His affection,
And the will of God to do on earth at all times
As angels and saints do in heaven;
Each day and night give us Thy peace.
Each day and night give us Thy peace.

ACHANAIDH GRAIS

Ta mi lubadh mo ghlun
An suil an Athar a chruthaich mi,
An suil a Mhic a cheannaich mi,
An suil a Spioraid a ghlanaich mi,
Le gradh agus run.
Doirt a nuas oirnn a flathas
Trocair shuairce do mhathas;
Fhir tha 'n uachdar na Cathair,
Dean-sa fathamas ruinn.
Tabhair duinn, a Shlan'ear Aigh,
Eagal De, gaol De, agus gradh,
Is toil De dheanamh air talamh gach re,
Mar ni ainghlich is naoimhich air neamh;
Gach la agus oidhche thoir duinn do sheimh,
Gach la agus oidhche thoir duinn do sheimh.

Collected in the Highlands of Scotland and
Translated by Alexander Carmichael from the Gaelic

7 Reasons to Celebrate--Part 7

2007-12-24T10:14:00.001-08:00

FAMILY

7 Reasons to Celebrate--Part 6

2007-12-23T19:01:00.000-08:00

Tradition

7 Reasons to Celebrate--Part 5

2007-12-22T19:53:00.000-08:00

Christmas vacation...the movie and the actual experience!

7 Reasons to Celebrate--Part 4

2007-12-22T19:46:00.000-08:00

7 Reasons to Celebrate--Part 3

2007-12-20T20:02:00.000-08:00

It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

With the kids jingle belling

And everyone telling you "Be of good cheer"

It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

It's the hap -happiest season of all

With those holiday greetings and gay happy meetings

When friends come to call

It's the hap - happiest season of all

There'll be parties for hosting

Marshmallows for toasting

And caroling out in the snow

There'll be scary ghost stories

And tales of the glories of Christmases long, long ago

It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

There'll be much mistltoeing

And hearts will be glowing

When loved ones are near

It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

There'll be parties for hosting

Marshmallows for toasting

And caroling out in the snow

There'll be scary ghost stories

And tales of the glories of Christmases long, long ago

It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

There'll be much mistltoeing

And hearts will be glowing

When loved ones are near

It's The Most Wonderful Time

It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year!

7 Reasons to Celebrate--Part 2

2007-12-19T12:37:00.000-08:00

Cookies...no need say more. Holiday food is the best!

7 Reasons to Celebrate--Part 1

2007-12-18T13:33:00.001-08:00

Grace, 'Tis a Charming Sound

2007-12-14T17:32:00.000-08:00

Grace, ’tis a charming sound,

Harmonious to mine ear;

Heaven with the echo shall resound,

And all the earth shall hear.

Grace first contrived the way

To save rebellious man;

And all the steps that grace display

Which drew the wondrous plan.

Grace first inscribed my name

In God’s eternal book;

’Twas grace that gave me to the Lamb,

Who all my sorrows took.

Grace led my roving feet

To tread the heavenly road;

And new supplies each hour I meet,

While pressing on to God.

Grace taught my soul to pray

And made mine eyes o’erflow;

’Twas grace which kept me to this day,

And will not let me go.

Grace all the work shall crown,

Through everlasting days;

It lays in heaven the topmost stone,

And well deserves the praise.

O let Thy grace inspire

My soul with strength divine

My all my powers to Thee aspire,

And all my days be Thine.

Augustus Montague Toplady

1740-1748

let it snow

2007-12-09T17:01:00.000-08:00

Coolest thing. This morning, my dad told me and my brothers that people driving in to church a certain way had seen snow on the tops of the mountains, so we decided to take this route back home to see if we could catch a glimpse. We're driving along, my youngest brother (skeptical of seeing snow when it was 56 degrees out), was the first to spot it. All of a sudden, there were the mountains , snow-capped. It was glorious! Beautiful. Breathtaking. It made me feel happy inside. It has been strange making preparations for a season that in years past has always been accompanied by frosty weather and snow days. I'm not going to lie...I do not miss having to let my car run for fifteen minutes before going anywhere, or chipping ice off the windshield, or shoveling my tires out of the driveway to leave for work in the morning. But there are some things I miss from the Minnesota plains. The whole world sounds different after a heavy snowfall. In the rural town where my family lived for 11 years, the snow covered the fields, and when the sun set, the light seemed to touch absolutely everything, making it glow.

It was refreshing to spot that fluffy white stuff and know that it's less than a hour away by car. Refreshing to know that we can live in Southern California comfort and still get our snow fix every once in a while!

return to me

2007-11-20T20:51:00.000-08:00

It was the most beautiful morning yesterday. When I woke up and took the dog outside, the world was shrouded in fog. Typical for inland Southern California mornings. I could see the sun was coming up, even though it too was enveloped in the thick white mist. Walking along the bottom of the hill was like walking through a dream. The world was silent. No one else existed aside from me and Luke.

By the time we got the top of the hill, the sun was breaking through, sending the mist scurrying into the atmosphere. It hung low in the valley, pocketed by the foothills. Glorious. I am constantly amazed at how beautiful the world is between the hour of 6 and 7 am. I think it is God's way of blessing those who are unfortunate enough to be up and about that time of day.

I have been memorizing Scripture week by week. Incidentally, my verse for last week was from Isaiah 44:22.

I have swept away your offenses like a cloud, your sins like the morning mist. Return to me, for I have redeemed you.

It was so beautiful to see this verse take place before my own eyes. My sin, my wrong, all my mistakes. They tend to weigh so heavily on me, and I carry them on my shoulders, a load much too great for me. It is so unnecessary. To God, they are nothing more than the mist, swept away by His truth of forgiveness, His light. Wow.

Return to me. He, who sweeps away all offense and sin. He, who redeems us, calls us His own, makes us whole.

Return.

Some more photos for your enjoyment.

spread out skies

2007-10-31T20:17:00.000-07:00

Wow. It seems to be the only thing to say right now. The fires that ravaged San Diego County last week proved a vicious force. While my own home was not permanently scarred by heat and flame, the homes of many others I know were. The fires drove over a million people away from their neighborhoods, cars packed with what mattered most--photos, insurance papers and passports, pets, and family.

My own family was evacuated. I was pleasantly surprised at myself when I was packing up to leave the house. What can't I live without? Surprisingly, just about everything. I took some clothes, all my photos, my laptop, cell phone, cameras, and ipod. My guitar. My Bible. I surveyed the room, scanning the bookshelves, drawers, and closet, certain I was missing something important. But I wasn't.

The photo above is one I took from the backyard a couple days ago, evidence of the stunning beauty of the world. A brief moment of grace, shining on our broken, burned world. It amazes me how there can be so much pain and heartache and confusion in one day. And then the next...peace. Stillness. Something so magnificently awesome, I could have never imagine it on my own.

touch

2007-10-15T16:52:00.000-07:00

A week ago, I was on the streets of downtown San Diego with a church group, handing out granola bars, bananas, peanuts, and bottles of water to the homeless people bedded down on the cement for the night. More than they were thankful for the food and water, they seemed most appreciative of our conversation. To speak and be heard. That was more important to them than nutrition and sustenance.

One guy, who looked suspiciously like a young Santa Claus, rolled over on his back , hands under his head to talk about bowling. Bowling. Another guy told us how he used to play the voice of the Pillsbury Dough Boy and Marvin the Martian. He sounded just like them. Yet another older man sat up and watched the cars go by while he shared how he had learned to run and pray at the same time, like David fleeing Saul in the Old Testament.

They all had a normal, regular life before they found themselves on the street. They weren't born into that life. It claimed them. And somehow, they were stunningly hopeful. I knew I was going to drive back into the suburbs that night and sleep in my bed, under clean blankets, with a glass of water close at hand. It seems so unfair. I could be one of them.

I was trying to hand out the last of my granola bars before we left for the night. I lowered the cardboard box down to one woman, who I had earlier seen meticulously folding and smoothing out a pair of pants that she wasn't wearing.

"Are they soft?" she asked me.

"Umm, I don't know." I picked one up. Squeezed lightly with my hand. Set it back down. "They feel kinda of crunchy," I told her.

"Let me see." She fingered one of the shiny wrapped bars and shook her head as she withdrew her hand. "You show me."

She grabbed my hand and shoved a granola bar into my fingers, holding on with hers.

"I'll take one," some guy I assumed had been sleeping next to her sat up.

I bent over and leaned across the blankets on the ground, stretching out the box towards him.

"No. Have her give it to you," the pant-less lady said, grabbing at my hand again, stuffing a granola bar into it, pulling on my arm to reach him. I nearly fell over onto both of them.

It seemed bizarre. But walking away, I knew what had happened. She didn't care that she couldn't eat the granola bars. Even though she had felt them for herself, she wanted me to show her, not at arm's length, but up close and personal. She wanted to touch me.

It was the first time I had done something like that, and I guess I didn't know what to expect. But it wasn't this. Not people with lives like mine, feelings like mine, needs like mine. They were polite (mostly), intelligent, interactive. To them it seemed the food was an afterthought. They wanted us. I think we could have shown up with empty hands and they wouldn't have cared. It was our voices, our ears, our eyes, our hands. That's what they craved.

2007-10-03T21:48:00.000-07:00

"It is an illusion that youth is happy, an illusion of those who have lost it; but the young know they are wretched, for they are full of the truthless ideals which have been instilled into them, and each time they come in contact with the real they are bruised and wounded."

~W. Somerset Maugham~

community

2007-09-21T20:16:00.000-07:00

I love that commercial for some insurance company. The one that beings with a business woman stopping the pizza delivery boy from stepping in front of a car at an intersection. Someone sees it, and they in turn are inspired to perform their own good deed, which is seen by someone else, who also goes on to do their own good deed. And so on and so forth. I like it, because the idea so intricately ties together the human race, and perhaps our intrinsic urge to do good.

So often among Christian circles, we hear about man's sin nature. How we are really all born with the awful desire to do terrible things all the time. I'm not saying we don't have that sin nature, because I believe we do, but I never hear anyone talk about our desire to do good. To help others. I think that we are all born with a serving nature, not just a sin nature.

I like the idea that all it takes is one person's good deed to inspire a slough of others. You don't have to believe in God to save someone's life, or help someone carry a heavy bag, or hold the door open for the peson with their arms full. I think that what a lot of people believe in is people and the global community that we live in. And that is good.

Not much for theology, I know, but I think it can hold water. We're not destined to depravity. We were created for service and community.

purpose

2007-09-09T17:08:00.000-07:00

In the sermon at church today, our pastor, Matt, brought up God's indelible hand, the one that controls everything, and brings all things to pass as they should. We were looking at Jeremiah 29, where God speaks to the Israelites after they have been taken into exile in Babylon.

v. 4 This is what the Lord Almighty, the God of Israel, says to all those I carried into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon...

God directed them into that exile--it was no mistake. He didn't turn his back for one brief moment, only to turn around and discover His people had been carried off by pagans. God carried them into exile. Not the Babylonians. He also promised He would carry them out in 70 years, because He knows the plans He has for them. Plans for prosperity and hope. A future.

Matt made the message tangible for us, talking about how God has brought us specifically into San Diego. It was neat for me to hear...I don't know how many other people there today were relatively new to the area, but it was cool to think that God does have a plan, and He is the one who carried me to this place. Not myself, or my job, or even my family. I feel as though I went through my own time of "exile" in the year before I made the move, and I am so ready to look forward into God's good, prosperous plan for my life. I am so grateful for His hope. And so glad that with Him, there will always be a future.

grace

2007-08-31T19:20:00.000-07:00

Nothing is more necessary than grace--not even love. I am convinced of it. Without grace, how could we love? How could we forgive? How could we live with one another, let alone ourselves.

I guess that's what this blog will be about. Finding grace in myself, in the world, and in my God. Life is a rough journey, but I think it is worth all the bumps, dead-ends, and u-turns if we can remember to hold on to the beautiful, simple acts of grace that surround us everyday.

Thanks for coming along for the ride. Grace to you.